I love that I love you, but I hate that I love you.
No matter what, all the fights, name calling, all the hurtful things said. You’re still here, and I won’t lie… it confuses me. Why you’re still here after everything.. then I think about it- and you weren’t lying when you said forever.
Even though things went shitty.. I know they’re fixable.. and I know you really do love me. I guess I’m just trying to say- that even tho it took bullshit.. and me fucking up to realize it, I finally do… I realize how much you really do love me.. and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you. Even if you aren’t innocent in the situation I still never should’ve done things that I did… to someone who did nothing but try and love me… I didn’t know how to act, because you weren’t just another guy… or some douche that was gonna use me like I was used to… you ARE the ONE. And I know that for a fact….because you’re still here.
I love you.. and I’m yours. for as long as you want me.
On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence.
I wish i knew how long i was supposed to be this sad. Do you know how it feels to be crying and sad all the time because the boy you love wants nothing to do with you.. It hurts. All i want to do is give you my love, and be with you.. And its not happening. We both weren’t in right points in our life to be together. and its pretty obvious.. cause it fucked something so wonderful up. Love is such a beautiful thing and all i want to do is to share my love with you, and show you how much you really mean to me waking up every morning knowing the person you love wants nothing to do with you is one of the most horrible things to ever feel,and the fact that i wake up everyday feeling something so horrible doesnt make me feel good about myself at all. It makes me feel lower than.ive felt in a while. Having to look at myself everyday knowing that i.took part in fucking what we had.. Kills me and i dont know how much longer im supposed to feel this way, but i don’t want to feel like this anymore.. Why can’t you just love me, like i love you… I just don’t understand, and i wish i did..)’:
Well there’s my 3am rant.
Lol
#overmylife
1.25.13 in SLC UTAH.
suuuuch a good night last night. (:
I just want to say…
im glad i can be honest with my friends, about literally everything no matter what it is, and they dont judge me.. it makes me feel good to have TRUE and good friends for once, like i wish i would’ve realized sooner, who my true friends were.. sure, everyone has their drama, and 95% of people get over shit easy. but, the little shit never matters, but it just makes me sick that i wasted SOO many years, on fake bitches that i was MORE then good friends too, and been through everything with, literally everything, with to just get fucked over. ITS WHATEVAA DOE :D those bitches dont mean shit now, that probably should’ve never meant anything.. oh well, we all make mistakes,. ;)
i love my girls,<3
my TRUE fucking friends, that have stuck around .<3
*endofrant
